


Ten Things I Hate About You

by BoyfriendMaterial



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 02:43:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12202278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoyfriendMaterial/pseuds/BoyfriendMaterial
Summary: Literally the script from 'Ten Things I Hate About You' just with some changes here and there.I own nothing, I just did this for fun.





	Ten Things I Hate About You

**Author's Note:**

> Literally the script from 'Ten Things I Hate About You' just with some changes here and there. 
> 
> I own nothing, I just did this for fun.

Michelle Jones is pretty, but you would never know as she hides it under a deep scowl and murderous eyes, not to mention granny clothes that hides the fact that she is now a blossoming adult, her frizzy curly hair helps her hide her face and tops off her ‘I don’t give a fuck about my looks’ personality really well.

Michelle balances a cup of coffee and a backpack as she climbs out of her battered baby blue ’75 Dodge Dart. It is that precise moment that the universe decides to fuck with her as a moron with a skateboard and obvious vision impairment clips in to her side causing her to stumble and spill her coffee and the contents of her bag. Michelle gives a silent ‘fuck you’ to the universe as she sees all her beloved books topple to the ground.

The skateboard moron rushes to help, his eyes growing wide and his face paling when he sees who he just crashed into.

“Hey…. Sorry about that.” Skateboard moron says, his voice quavering a bit. Cowering in fear as he attempts to pick up her belongings. Not wanting his grubby hands on her books Michelle tries to stop him.

“Leave it.” Michelle sighs.

Skateboard moron continues anyway, pushing Michelle over the edge.

“I said, leave it.” Michelle says, grabbing his skateboard and using it to shove him against the car, the skateboard tip to his throat. He whimpers pitifully and she lets him go. A path clears for her as she marches through a pack of fearful students and slams open the door, entering the school.

* * *

 Liz Jones, unlike her sister takes pride in her appearance and likes everyone in the room to be looking at her. Liz stands facing the mirror, applying lipstick, her best friend Betty Brant stands next to her.

“Did you change your hair.” Betty asks, tugging on a piece of Liz’s hair.

“No.” Liz replies warily, eyeing her best friend in the mirror.

“Well you might want to think about it.” Betty smirks, checking her lipstick and sauntering out the door with Liz following suit.

Liz is immediately greeted by an admiring crowd, both boys and girls alike. Shouts of ‘hey Liz’ ‘nice shoes’ ‘cool top’ are heard as she makes her way down the hallway while Betty Brant remains wordless and unaddressed by her side. Liz smiles proudly as she is adored by her peers.

* * *

 Peter Parker a clean-cut, easy-going senior with an open, farm-boy face, sits facing Miss Perky, an impossibly cheery guidance counselor.

“I'm sure you won't find Midtown any different than your old school.  Same little ass-wipe mother-fuckers everywhere.” Miss perky says, a fake plastic smile never leaving her face. Peter fidgets in his chair uncomfortably.

“So, Parker, you got any questions?”

“I don’t think so, ma’am,” Peter answers politely.

“Then go forth. Scoot. I’ve got deviants to see.” Peter hurries up from the chair, making eye contact with a sullen looking boy with a smirk on his face.

Peter can hear the sigh from Miss Perky behind him.

“Patrick Verona. I see we’re making our visits a weekly ritual.”

“I missed you.” Peter hears Patrick reply charmingly, before the door closes behind him and he shuffles into the hallway bumping into a chubby guy with a huge friendly smile.

 “You the new guy?” The chubby guy asks, his smile never fading.

“That’s what their telling me.”

“C’mon I’m supposed to give you the tour, my name’s Ned by the way. You’re peter right.”

Peter nods in confirmation

“So which Dakota are you from?” Ned asks.

“North, actually but how did you know?”

“I was kidding, people actually live there?” Ned laughs.

“Yeah. A couple. We’re outnumbered by the cows. Though.”

“How many people were in your old school?” Ned asks, intrigued.

“Thirty-two.”

“Get out.”

“How many people go here.” Peter asks. Looking around the crowded hall warily.

“Couple thousand, most of them evil.”

Peter and Ned make their way through a crowded hallway that is plastered everywhere with prom posters.

“So, cliques, this is all you need to know.” Ned says, as they stop in the middle of the hallway, Ned rubbing his hands together in preparation.

“Well, we’ve got your basic beautiful people.” Ned says pointing at a couple of guys wearing varsity jackets surrounded by pretty girls, most of them decked out in a cheer-leading uniform. “Unless they talk to you first, don’t bother.” 

“Then your cowboys.” Ned continues pointing to several Stetson wearing guys with big belt buckles.

“That I’m used to.” Peter interjects.

“Yeah, but these guys have never seen a horse. They just jack off to Clint Eastwood.” Ned says, making Peter shudder.

Ned continues out to the front of the school, Peter following behind him as they stop in front of an espresso cart.

 “Next we have the coffee kids.” Ned says, pointing to the kids gathered around “Very edgy. Do not make any sudden movements around them.”

“Which brings us to these delusional misfits, other known as the White Rastae.” Ned points to several white boys in dreadlocks and Jamaican knit berets who are lounging on the grass. A cloud of smoke hovers over them.

“Big Marley fans. They think they’re black. Semi political, always appropriating Jamaican culture. But mostly they watch a lot of Wild Kingdom, if you know what I mean.” Ned says, elbowing Peter in the side, smiling at his own joke. Peter smiles back and tries to hide his confusion.

Ned waves to one of the guys on the grass, who has the longest dreads out of the group.

“Derek, save some for after lunch, bub.” Ned says.

“Ned, my brother, peace.” Derek replies, the fact that his stoned obvious in his voice.

Ned turns to enter the cafeteria, Peter following behind trying to take it all in.

“So where do you fit in to all this?” Peter asks.

Ned motions for Peter to follow as they make their way through the crowded and very loud cafeteria. Ned sits with a group of studious-looking teens.

“Future MBAs- We’re all Ivy League, already accepted. Someday I’ll be sipping Merlot while those guys.” Ned points to a table of jocks, as they torture various students as they pass by. “are fixing my Saab.

After a moment of silence Ned speaks again.

“Oh, I burn, I pine, I perish.” Ned says wistfully, his hand on his heart.

Peter looks to see where Ned’s focus is and sees a tall dark-skinned girl sit by the jocks.

“Who is she?” Peter asks, analyzing the young girl.

“Liz Jones. Sophomore. Don’t even think about it. That right there is my future wife.” Ned says, longingly.

“Didn’t think about it, have you ever actually talked to her.”

“Well no.”

“Why not?”

“Well I could start with my haircut, but it doesn’t matter. She’s not allowed to date until her older sister does. And that’s an impossibility.” Ned shrugs.

* * *

 A room full of bored looking seniors doodle and stare off into space. Peter sits a row back from Michelle looking around at all the unfamiliar faces. Mrs. Blaise, the one step away from medication English teacher, tries to remember what she was talking about.

“Well, then. Oh, yes. I guess that does it for our analysis of ‘The Old Men and the Sea’. Any other comments?” Mrs. Blaise asks, dread clear on her face.

“Why didn’t we just read ‘The Hardy Boys’?” Michelle asks, her infamous scowl sitting on her face.

“I’m sorry?” Mrs. Blaise responds.

“This book is about a guy and his fishing habit. Not exactly a crucial topic.” Michelle says, disdain in her voice. As other students, around her roll their eyes.

“Frankly, I’m baffled as to why we still revere Hemingway. He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who had a lot of cats.” Michelle continues.

“As opposed to a bitter self-righteous hag who had no friends.” Flash interjects, his jock friends laughing at his joke, along with a few other students. Michelle ignores them her calm composure well practiced.

“That’s enough, Flash.” Mrs. Blaise says in a bored tone.

“I guess” Michelle continues “The school board thinks because Hemingway's a male and an asshole, he’s worthy of our valued time. What about Colette? Charlotte Bronte? Simone DE Beauvoir?”

“That’s enough Michelle, go to the guidance office after class.” Mrs. Blaise sighs, going to her desk and trying to discreetly slip out a pill from its container.

The class titters while Michelle wears an expression of intolerance. Peter stares at Michelle with a slight grin on his face.

* * *

 Miss Perky sits at her desk, her fake smile plastered to her face as Michelle Jones scowls at her.

“Michelle Jones. My, my. You’ve been terrorizing Ms. Blaise again.” Miss Perky comments.

“Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist act.” Michelle argues, a smirk growing on her face.

“Well, yes compared to your other choice of expression this year, today’s events are actually quite mild. By the way, Bobby Rictor’s gonad retrieval operation went quite well, in case you’re interested.

“I still stand by my statement that he kicked himself in the balls, I was merely a spectator.”

“The point is Shelly…. can I call you Shelly?” Miss Perky asks, but continues to talk without letting Michelle answer “People perceive you as somewhat….”

Michelle smile viciously, daring her to say it.

“Tempestuous?” Michelle supplies.

“No….I believe ‘heinous bitch’ is the term used most often. It is something you might consider working on Shelly.”

Michelle rises from the chair a fake smile plastered to her face to match Miss. Perky’s.

“As always, thank you for your excellent guidance.” Michelle leaves, banging the door behind her.

“Heinous bitch.” Miss. Perky mumbles to an empty room.

* * *

 “I realize the language of Mr. Shakespeare makes him a bit daunting, but I’m sure you’re all doing your best.”

Liz Jones sits at her desk writing a note, ignoring the teacher at the front of the class.  Liz folds the note and passes it behind her with a flip of her hair to Betty Brant. Betty opens the note and reads:

‘Flash said hi to me today in the hall OH! MY! GOD!.’

Betty frowns to herself, balling up the note in annoyance.

“Ms. Jones, do you care to comment on what you’ve read so far?”  the teacher asks looking at Liz expectantly.

Liz smiles sweetly at the teacher, fluttering her eyelashes slightly.

“Not really.” Liz says, in a sickly-sweet voice.

The teacher shakes her head at the young girl but lets it go.

A waif-like senior girl who sits off the side trying to slit her wrist with the plastic spiral on her notebook, looks up and raises her hand.

“Cindy, since your assisting us, you might as well comment. I’m assuming you read the assignment.”

“Uh I read it all.” Cindy answers.

“The whole play?”

“The whole folio. All the plays.”

“You’ve read every play by William Shakespeare?” The teacher asks in disbelief.

“Haven’t you?” Cindy asks, raising a challenging eyebrow. The teacher doesn’t answer and calls on another student.

* * *

 Cindy and Michelle sit in a quiet corner, eating their lunch.

“Your sister is so amazingly without thought. She’ll never read Shakespeare, she has no idea.” Cindy says.

“The fact that your cutting gym so you can T.A. sophomore English just to hear his name, is a little weird if you ask me.” Michelle comments.

Michelle’s attention is caught by Patrick as he walks by with his friends, lighting a cigarette. Cindy notices her staring.

“Who’s that?” Cindy asks.

“Patrick Verona, random skid.”

“That’s Pat Verona? The one who was gone for a year? I heard he was doing porn movies.”

“I’m sure he’s completely incapable of doing anything that interesting.”

“He always looks so.”

“Block E?” Michelle asks, cutting Cindy off. 

Michelle turns back to Cindy and forces half her sandwich into her hand.

“Cindy, eat. Starving yourself is a very slow way to die.” Michelle says.

“Just a little.” Cindy says, taking the sandwich and looking at it in disdain. Michelle notices her wrist when she reaches for the sandwich.

“What’s that?” Michelle ask, pointing.

“An attempted slit.”

Michelle stares at her expressionless.

“I realize that the men of this fine institution are severely lacking, but killing yourself so you can be with William Shakespeare is beyond the scope of normal teenager obsessions. You’re venturing far past day time talk show fodder and entering the world of those who need expensive therapy.”

“But imagine the things he’d say during sex.”

“Okay, let’s say you do it. You kill yourself, you end up in wherever you end up and he's there.  Do you really think he's going to want to date a ninety-pound compulsive who failed volleyball?”

Michelle is distracted when Ned strolls by with the new kid that was in her English class.

“Hey hottie alert.” Cindy says, thankful Michelle’s attention is off her.

“He’s alright I guess.” Michelle says, reaching into her bag and taking out her copy of ‘Dracula.’

* * *

Ned and Peter observe Flash and Liz from another corner of the courtyard. Flash leers at Liz while his buddies laugh around them.  Noticing the sad look on Ned’s face, Peter speaks up.

“Why do girls like that always like guys like that?”

“Because they’re bred to. Their mother liked guys like that, and their grandmothers before them. Their gene pool is rarely diluted.”

“Does he always have that shit eating grin?” Peter asks, already hating this guy his never even talked to.

“Flash?  Perma-shit-grin.  I could say he's a moron, but he's number twelve in the class.  And a model.  Mostly regional stuff, but he's rumored to have a big tube sock ad coming out.” Ned answers.

 “Hey you speak French?” Peter asks.

 “Yes, why?” Ned replies.  

“I saw Liz sign up for a tutor today.” Peter says, smiling at Ned.

 “You mean I’d actually have to talk to her?” Ned says, starting to sweat.  

“You can consecrate with her, my friend.” Peter laughs.

 Ned watches in a trance as Liz heads back into the building.  

* * *

 At the end of the school day Michelle and Cindy are walking towards Michelle’s car when Flash decides to be a dick.  

“The vintage look is over, Michelle. Haven’t you been reading your Sassy.” Flash says, pulling up beside her in his Viper.  

“Yeah and I noticed the only part of you featured in your big K-Mart spread was your elbow. Tough break.” Michelle snaps back.

 “They’re running the rest of me next month.” Flash spits at her, zooming away in his car as Michelle yanks open the door of the Dart. Cindy ties a scarf around her head as if they’re in a convertible.

 “The people at this school are incredibly dim-witted and foul.” Michelle says.

 “You could always go with me. I’m sure William has some friends.” Cindy suggests.  

Michelle and Cindy watch as Flash slows down his car to allow Liz and Betty to get in and they zoom out the parking lot.

 “That’s a charming new development.” Cindy comments, lowering her sunglasses to watch.

 Michelle doesn’t answer, but reaches over and puts a tape in the tape deck. The sounds of Joyful Rock Punk fill the car.  As Michelle pulls out, Ned crosses in front of her car on his moped and Michelle must slam on the brakes harshly to avoid hitting him.

 “Remove head from ass! Then pedal.” Michelle snaps at him.  Ned begins fearfully pedaling out of Michelle’s way as Michelle peels out the car park, angry at the delay. 

Ned slows to a stop once his out of the way of other cars, breathing harshly. Peter rushes to his side.  

“Hey man, you okay.” Peter asks, putting a comforting hand on Ned’s back.  

“Yeah just a minor encounter with the shrew.” Ned answers, his breathing returning to normal.  

“That’s her, That’s Liz’s sister? I have English with her” Peter says.  

“The devil itself.” Ned answers.   

* * *

 Sharon Jones sits at her computer, working furiously trying to finish her latest romance novel, her daughter stands behind her reading over her shoulder.

“Undulating with desire, Adrienne removes her crimson cape, revealing her creamy…” Michelle trails of as her father enters through their side door.

“I hope dinner’s ready because I only have ten minutes before Mrs. Johnson squirts out a screamer.” Walter says, tugging off his white coat and discarding it on the counter with his black bag.

“In the microwave.” Sharon replies, not looking away from her computer.

Walter bends down to kiss his wife on the cheek before turning to Michelle.

“Make any one cry today?” Walter asks.

“Sadly no. But it’s only four thirty.” Michelle answers, smirking as Liz walks into the kitchen. Throwing her bag to the ground.

“Where have you been?” Michelle asks, glaring at her younger sister.

“Nowhere…. Hi daddy.” Liz says, kissing Walter on the cheek as he shuffles through the mail. His eyes going wide as he holds a letter up to Michelle.

“What’s this? It says Sarah Lawrence?” Walter questions, in a strict voice.

Michelle hurriedly snatches it away from him, opening it eagerly.

“I guess I got in.” Michelle says, shrugging.

“What’s a synonym for throbbing?” Sharon asks, ignoring the current activities around her.

“Sarah Lawrence is on the other side of the country.” Walter says.

“I know.” Michelle replies.

“I thought we decided you were going to school here. At U of A.”

“No, you decided.”

“Is there any reason that we even want her to stay.” Liz slips in as she flips through a magazine.

Michelle glares at Liz then smiles at her sweetly.

“Daddy.” Michelle says in a mocking tone “Ask Liz who drove her home.” Michelle continues, smirking.

“Swollen…. Turgid.” Sharon says out load, oblivious to the commotion behind her.

“Don’t get upset. Daddy, but there’s this boy….and I think he might ask…” Liz pleads.

“No! you’re not dating until your sister starts dating. End of discussion.” Walter says.

“What if she never starts dating?” Liz argues.

“Then neither will you. And I’ll get to sleep at night.”

“But it’s not fair— she’s a mutant, Daddy!” Liz cries.

“This coming from someone whose diary is devoted to favourite grooming tips.” Michelle barks.

“Enough.” Walter declares, as he pulls a tape recorder from his black bag and hits play.

“Do you know what this is.?” Walter asks, over the shrieks of pain coming from the tape recorder.

“The sound of a fifteen-year-old in labour.” Michelle and Liz answer in unison.

“This is why you’re not dating until your sister does.” Walter says.

“But she doesn’t want to date.” Liz argues.

“Exactly my point.” Walter says, as his beeper goes off and he grabs his bag.

“Jesus! Can a man even grab a sandwich before you women start dilating.”

“Tumescent.” Sharon declares in victory.

“You’re not helping.” Walter whispers to his wife as he leaves.

* * *

 A few days later, Ned sits in the library an empty chair in front of him, Liz comes in sauntering up to him throwing herself on the chair dramatically.

“Can we make this quick? Roxanne Corrine and Andrew Barrett are having an incredibly horrendous public break-up on the quad. Again.” Liz says, flicking open the book.

“Well I thought we’d start with pronunciation, if that’s okay with you.” Ned says, trying to keep his cool.

“Not the hacking and gagging and spitting part. Please.”

“Okay…. Then how ‘bout we try out some French cuisine, Saturday? Night?”

Liz smiles slowly.

“You’re asking me out. That’s so cute. What’s your name again?”

“Forget it.” Ned says, shrugging in embarrassment.

Liz seeing an opportunity, smiles vindictively.

“No, no, it's my fault -- we didn't have a proper introduction ---” Liz trails off looking at Ned expectantly.

“Ned.”

“The thing is, Ned -- I'm at the mercy of a particularly hideous breed of loser.  My sister.  I can't date until she does.” Liz shrugs.

 “Seems like she could get a date easy enough...”

 Liz fingers a lock of her hair.  He looks on, dazzled.

 “The problem is, she's completely anti-social.” Liz supplies.

 “Why?”

 “Unsolved mystery.  She used to be really popular when she started high school, then it was just like she got sick of it or something.”

 “That's a shame.”

 Liz reaches out and touches his arm

 “Gosh, if only we could find Michelle a boyfriend...”

 “Let me see what I can do.” Ned smiles, having no idea how stupid he is. 

* * *

 “Man., I can believe you actually asked out the most popular girl in school.” Peter grins, as he and Ned dissect a frog.

“I teach her French, get to know her, dazzle her with charm and she falls in love with me.” Ned says, grinning.

“Unlikely, but even so, she still can't go out with you.  So, what's the point?” Peter asks.

“What about him?” Ned motions with his head toward Patrick, a few lab tables away.  He's wearing biker glasses instead of goggles as he tries to revive his frog.

“You want to go out with him?” Peter asks, confused.  Prompting the others at the lab table raise their eyebrows

“No - he could wrangle with the sister.”

“What makes you think he'll do it?”

 “He seems like he thrives on danger.   He's a criminal.  I heard he lit a state trooper on fire. He just got out of Alcatraz...” Ned says.

  “They always let felons sit in on Honors Biology?” Peter grins,

“I'm serious, man, he's whacked.  He sold his own liver on the black market so he could buy new speakers.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Peter asks.

“First things first, we get him in board.” Ned says, motioning towards Patrick.

Peter looks over at Patrick who is now currently sticking his finger into the flame from the Bunsen burner.

“I’m going to let you handle that.” Peter shrugs, going back to his frog.

* * *

 Ned approaches Flash’s table at lunch time where he and his friends are taking turns drawing boobs onto a cafeteria tray with a magic marker.

“Hey.” Ned says, stopping at the front to the table.

“Are you lost?” Flash asks, a scowl on his face.

“Nope - just came by to chat”

“We don't chat.”

“Well, actually, I thought I'd run an idea by you.  You know, just to see if you’re interested” Ned supplies.

“We’re not.” Flash says, grabbing Ned by the side of the head, and proceeds to draw a penis on his cheek with the magic marker

“Hear me out. You want Liz, don’t you?” Ned asks, as Flash sits back and cackles at his drawing.

“But she can't go out with you because her sister is this insane head case and no one will go out with her. right?”

“Does this conversation have a purpose?”

“I have a plan. All you need to do is recruit a guy who’ll go out with her, and luckily I have just the guy.” Ned says, pointing across the cafeteria to Patrick. Flash looks on in thought.

“What’s in it for you.” Flash asks, raising his eyebrows suspiciously.

“Oh, hey, nothing' man   Purely good will on my part.” Ned says.

“Okay chubs, thanks for the advice.” Flash says rising from the table, clapping Ned on the back as he goes.

“Okay see you around, Buddy.” Ned calls after him.

“I have a dick on my face, don’t I.” Ned sighs to himself. Then proceeds to return to his seat by Peter.

“You got Flash involved?” Peter questions.

“When you let the enemy think he's orchestrating the battle, you're in a position of power. We let him pretend he's calling the shots, and while he's busy setting up the plan, I have time to woo Liz.”

“You’re a brilliant guy.”

* * *

 In gym class Flash and a member of his hulking entourage, approach Patrick. They pull him aside roughly.

“You see that girl.” Flash says, pointing at Michelle as she spikes a volleyball into some poor cowboy’s face.

“Yeah?” Patrick says, in a questioning tone.

“What do you think?”

“Nice legs, doesn’t have much of a rack….”

“Yeah, whatever. I want you to go out with her.”

“Sure, Sparky. I’ll get right on that.” Patrick says, sarcastically.

“You just said she has nice legs.”

“You need money to take a girl out.”

“You got it, Verona. I pick up the tab, you do the honors.” Flash smirks.

“You’re going to pay me to take out some girl?”

“I can't date her sister until that one gets a boyfriend.  And that's the catch. She doesn't want a boyfriend.”

“Look bro, I wish I could help you out but I don’t think my girlfriend Kat, would appreciate it. But good look with your endeavors.” Patrick says, as he walks away.

* * *

 Flash approaches Ned and Peter in the hallway  at the end of the day looking more irked off than usual.

“Stupid plan man, Patrick didn’t go for it.”

“Well, we’ll just find someone else.” Ned urges.

“Nah man, no one’s going to do it. I offered to pay Patrick and he still turned me down.” Flash says, preparing to leave.

“Wait wait, what about him?” Ned asks, pointing to Peter.

“I’m sorry what.” Peter says, stunned.

“Please Peter.” Ned whispers so Flash can’t hear.

“You think you’re up for it. Michelle looks like she could eat you.” Flash says, grinning.

“Um…. Yeah, I mean how hard can it be?” Peter shrugs.

“You got balls kid. Here’s your first payment.” Flash says, winking at Peter and handing him fifty bucks as he leaves.

“Oh my God, Ned. What did you do.” Peter shrieks as Ned gives him a soft grateful smile.

* * *

 Michelle Jones body aches from the grueling practice session. But to on-lookers it seems as if she is doing it effortlessly. Michelle spares no on as she whips the ball all over the field.

Peter and Ned sit on the bleachers nearby watching in interest.

“You have to admit she’s pretty.” Ned says, trying to make Peter feel better.

“She’s beautiful Ned, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s a psychopath.” Peter and Ned simultaneously wincing as Michelle pushes another girl to the ground with enough force to knock down The Hulk.

“Hey, now’s your chance.” Ned says, pointing at Michelle as she takes a drink of water on the side-lines.

Peter nods, silently psyching himself up as he approaches her.

“Looking good out there.” Peter says, coming up beside Michelle.

Michelle nods in response then turns to leave.

“Hey, Girlie.” Peter says, calling her back.

Michelle stops and turns slowly to look at him.

“I mean women, how are you doing?” Peter asks, smiling dorkishly.

“Sweating like a pig, actually. And yourself?” Michelle says, with a fake smile.

“There’s a way to get a guy’s attention.” Peter chuckles lightly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“My mission in life.” Michelle says, sarcastically, her hand on her hip as she starts to glare at Peter.  “Well obviously, I’ve struck your fancy. So, you see, it worked. The world makes sense again.”  Michelle continues.

Peter steps closer suggestively.

“Pick you up Friday, then.” Peter says, cockily.

“What’s Friday.”

“The night I take you to places you've never been before.  And back.”

“Like where?  The 7-Eleven on Burnside?  Do you even know my name, Nerd?”

“I know a lot more than that.” Peter winks.

Michelle fixes him with a hard stare.

“Doubtful.  Very doubtful.” Michelle says, walking away quickly.

“That went well.” Ned says, coming behind Peter and clapping him on the back.  

* * *

 Liz and Ned sit across from each other in the library the next day. 

“C'esc ma tete. This is my head.” Liz says.

“Right. See?  You're ready for the quiz.” Ned applauds her.

“I don't want to know how to say that though.  I want to know useful things.  Like where the good stores are.  How much does champagne cost?  Stuff like Chat.  I have never in my life had to point out my head to someone.”

“That's because it's such a nice one.” Ned offers.

“Forget French.” Liz exclaims, closing her book with a seductive smile.

“How is our little Find the Wench a Date plan progressing?” Liz asks.

“Well, Peter said he would take her out. So, it’s all going according to plan.” Ned smiles.

“His perfect” Liz smiles at Ned.

* * *

 Michelle is standing at her bathroom sink washing her face when Liz appears behind her, and attempts to twists Michelle’s hair into a chignon, Michelle pushes away her hands.

“Have you ever considered a new look? I mean, seriously, you could have some potential buried under all this hostility.” Liz smiles, Michelle pushes past her into the hallway.

“I have the potential to smack the crap out of you if you don’t get out of my way.” Michelle snaps.

“Can you at least start wearing a bra?” Liz pleads.

Michelle slams her door in response.

* * *

 The next day at school Peter spies Michelle at her locker putting in books, Peter goes and leans on the locker beside her smiling shyly.

“Hey.” Peter says, feigning confidence, Michelle continues putting books in her locker ignoring Peter completely.

“You hate me, don’t you?” Peter questions.

“I don't really think you warrant that strong an emotion.” Michelle sighs closing her locker and turning towards him.

“Then say you'll spend Dollar Night at the track with me.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Come on -- the ponies, the flat beer, you with money in your eyes….”

“You -- covered in my vomit.”

“Seven thirty.” Peter questions, a hopeful look on his face.

“No.” Michelle sighs, slams her locker shut and walks away.

Later in the day Michelle emerges from a music store carrying a bag of CDs in her teeth, and fumbling through her purse with both hands.  She finds her keys and pulls them out with a triumphant tug. Michelle glances up and sees Peter sitting on the hood of her car, his signature dopey smile on his lips.

“Nice ride. Vintage fenders.” Peter appraises.

Michelle takes the bag out of her mouth to speak.

“Are you following me?” Michelle asks, annoyed.

“I was in the laundromat. I saw your car. Thought I'd say hi.”

“Hi.” Michelle replies, sarcastically, walking around to get in the driver’s seat and starts the car.

“You're not a big talker, are you?” Peter says, now at her window.

“Depends on the topic. My fenders don't really whip me into a verbal frenzy.”

Michelle attempts to pull out, but is blocked by Flash’s Viper, which pulls up perpendicular to her rear and parks. Flash emerges with his groupies and head towards the liquor store.

“What, is it asshole day? Hey—do you mind?” Michelle calls after flash.

“Not at all.” Flash says, as he continues in to the store, Michelle stares at him in disbelief, then backs up her car and crashes straight in the door of Flash’s precious Viper.

Peter watches in secret delight as Flash comes running out the store.

“You fucking bitch.” Flash screams.

Michelle pulls forwards and backs into his car again. Smiling sweetly.

* * *

 Back at home Michelle sits calmly as her father paces in front of her.

“My insurance does not cover PMS” Walter states, angrily.

“Then tell them I had a seizure.” Michelle shrugs.

“Is this about Sarah Lawrence? Are you punishing me?”

“I thought you were punishing me.”

“Why can't we agree on this?”

“Because you're making decisions for me.”

“As a parent, that's my right”  

“So, what I want doesn't matter?” 

“You're eighteen.  You don't know what you want.  You won't know until you're forty-five and you don't have it.”

 “I want to go to an East Coast school! I want you to trust me to make my own choices.  I want –” Michelle is cut off by the sound of Walter’s beeper.  

“Christ!  I want a night to go by that I'm not staring a contraction in the face.” Walter declares, walking out and leaving Michelle stewing on the couch.    

* * *

 Peter shuts his graffiti- encrusted locker, revealing Flash’s angry visage, glowering next to him.

“When I shell out a fifty, I expect results.” Flash says.  “I’m on it.” Peter replies.  

“Watching the bitch trash my car doesn’t count as a date.”  

“Hey, let’s stop with the whole bitch thing, I said I was on it.” Peter says, voice stern.  

“Let me put it to you this way, Penis Parker. If you don’t get any action, I don't get any action.  So, get your ass on hers by the end of the week.” Flash says, turning to walk away.

* * *

Ned and Liz sit across from each other in the library, Ned stares at Liz, transfixed on her like always.   

“Have you heard about Bogey Lowenstein's party?” Liz asks.  

“Sure have.” 

“I really, really, really wanna go, but I can't.  Not unless my sister goes.” Liz says, pouting.  

“I'm working' on it. Peter has been trying but she’s not going for him. Um she’s not like a….” Ned trails off, embarrassed.  

“Lesbian?  No. I found a picture of Jared Leto in one of her drawers, so I'm pretty sure she's not harboring same-sex tendencies.” Liz supplies.  

“So that's the kind of guy she likes? Pretty ones?” 

“Uh I guess,” Liz shrugs.  

“Okay good…. what else do you know about your sister.” Ned asks, whisking out a notepad.

* * *

“I got us some dirt on your girl.” Ned says, flipping open his notepad as Peter eats in front of him.

“First thing first, Michelle like’s pretty guys.”  

This is met with silence as peter raises his eyebrows.  

“What I’m not a pretty guy?” 

“Eh, you might want to step up your game. Be a little less wimpy as well.” Ned shrugs.

“Okay next- she likes Thai food, feminist prose, and angry, stinky girl music of the indie-rock persuasion.”  

“So, what does that give me?  I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments?” Peter questions.  

“Ever been to Club Skunk?” “

Um no.”  

“Gigglepuss is playing there tomorrow night.” 

“Don't make me do it, man.” 

“Assail your ears for one night. It's her favorite band.” Ned says, while Peter groans in defeat.  

“I also retrieved a list of her most recent CD purchases, courtesy of American Express.” Ned adds, handing the list to Peter.  “

Did you get this information illegally?”  

Ned puts a finger to his lips.  

“I prefer to think of it simply as an alternative to what the law allows.” Ned smiles.

* * *

 Michelle and Cindy walk in to club skunk, Cindy nervously pulling out her fake ID.  The giant, afroed bouncer, Bruce, looks typically mono-syllabic. 

“You think this’ll work.” Cindy whispers to Michelle.  

“No fear.” Michelle responds bravely. As they approach Bruce, Michelle puts on her happy, shiny face.  

“Hello! We’d like two for Gigglepuss.” Michelle says, brazenly as Bruce looks the two girls up and down.  

“Go ahead.” Bruce nods. 

On stage, the all-female band Gigglepuss is parlaying their bad girl sass into a ripping punk number. Michelle and Cindy are near the stage glowing with sweat.  

Peter stands at the bar, looking around the room for Michelle. When he sees her, he can’t help but be a little transfixed. Michelle seems almost gleeful as she dances, looking complexly at ease. Which is completely opposite to her usual attitude. Peter is definitely attracted. 

“I need aqua.” Michelle says to Cindy, quickly making her way through the crowd to the bar  Michelle gets to the bar and signals for the bartender and as she's waiting, looks around.  She spots Peter a few feet away.

“Shit.” Michelle whispers to herself.  She sneaks a glance.  He's staring, but this time he looks away before she can.  Despite herself, she's miffed. 

“What can I get you?” The bartender asks, pulling her attention away from Peter.  

“Two waters.” Michelle replies.  She looks at Peter again.  He's completely absorbed in the band.  She scowls.  The bottled water arrives and she marches off, forgetting to pay. She walks up to Peter.  

“You're not fooling anyone.” Michelle shouts over the music.  Peter looks at her, feigning surprise.  

“Hey.  Great show, huh?” Peter asks, matching her volume  

“If you're planning on asking me out you might as well get it over with.” Michelle shouts over the music.  

“Excuse me?” 

“That's what you want, isn't it?” Michelle asks.  

“Do you mind?  You're sort of ruining it for me.” Peter shouts, gesturing towards the band.  

“You know, these guys are no Bikini Kill or The Raincoats, but they're right up there.”  

“You know who The Raincoats are?” Michelle asks, surprised.  “

Why, don’t you?” Peter grins.

Michelle is completely taken aback.  He uses the moment to his advantage and brushes a piece of her hair that has fallen out her bun, back as he speaks right into her ear.  

“I watched you out there, I've never seen you look like that.”  

Michelle steps away, brushing the hair back that he just touched. A light blush highlighting her cheeks. 

“Come to a party with me?” Peter asks.  

Before Michelle can answer they are interrupted by the bartender.

“You forgot to pay.” The bartender yells over the music.  

“I got it.” Peter says, handing the money to him. 

 Rather than thank him, Michelle watches Peter suspiciously. Trying to figure out his motive.  “

Nine-thirty then.” Peter says with a cocky grin.  

A few people have gotten between them at the bar and she can't hear a word he's saying.  She gives him one last look and heads back into the crowd. Peter smiles. She didn’t say no this time.

* * *

 Liz and Betty descend from the staircase, dressed and ready to go to the party. Not expecting for Walter to enter the front door as they walk towards it.  Walter glances over his daughter’s outfit, his eyes questioning.  

“Daddy…I…” Liz stammers.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Walter asks.  

“If you must know, we were attempting to go to a small study group of friends.” Betty supplies, a big fake smile on her face.  

“Otherwise known as an orgy.” Walter inputs.  

“It's just a party. Daddy, but I knew you'd forbid me to go since "Gloria Steinem" over there isn't going –” Liz says, pointing at Michelle who is in the kitchen making tea.

“Do you know about any party? Michelle?” Walter asks, as Michelle comes up beside him. Michelle simply shrugs, giving her little sister a smile.  

“Daddy, people expect me to be there!” Liz cries.  “

If Michelle’s not going, you're not going.” Walter insists.  

Liz turns to Michelle, eyes ablaze.  “You're ruining my life' Because you won't be normal, I can't be normal.” Liz cries.

“What’s normal.” Michelle says in a bored tone, taking a sip of her tea.

“Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal, but you're too busy listening to Bitches Who Need Prozac to know that.” Liz spits.

“What's a Bogey Lowenstein?” Walter interjects.

“Can't you forget for just one night that you're completely wretched?” Liz pleads.

“At least I'm not a clouted fen- sucked hedge-pig.” Michelle replies.

Liz tosses her hair, rolling her eyes. “Like I'm supposed to know what that even means.” Liz says. “

It's Shakespeare.  Maybe you've heard of him?”

“Yeah, he's your freak friend Cindy’s boyfriend.  I guess since I'm not allowed to go out, I should obsess over a dead guy, too.”

Liz and Michelle stare each other down. 

“I know about the goddamn party.  I'm going.” Michelle sighs.

Liz and Betty look at each other, thrilled, and burst into gleeful screams.

A startled Walter clutches Liz in a protective hug.“Oh, God.  It's starting.” Walter cries.

“It's just a party. Daddy.” Liz reassures him. Walter looks at her in a daze.

“Wear the belly before you go.” Walter demands.

“Daddy, No!” Liz argues.

“Just for a minute.” Walter says rushing to a cupboard and pulling out a padded faux-pregnancy belly.“I want you to realize the weight of your decisions.” Walter continues hanging the belly on Liz as she stands mortified.

“You are so completely unbalanced.” Liz comments.

“Can we go now?” Michelle asks, annoyed.

“Promise me you won't talk to any boys unless your sister is present.” Walter pleads to Liz.

“Why?” “Because she'll scare them away.”

Michelle stomps to the door, grabbing her car keys off the hall table and a sweater from the coat rack. She flings open the door and there stands, Peter.

“Nine- thirty, right?” Peter says glancing at his watch, Michelle stands in shock.

“I may be a bit early.” Peter says, giving her a dorky grin.

Michelle holds up her keys. “I’m driving.” She announces, making her way around him.

“Who knocked up your sister.” Peter questions, earning a glare from Liz.

* * *

At the party, Flash, lines up a row of shots amid much whooping and hollering within the jock crowd. Michelle enters, then quickly tries to make an about face.  Flash sees her and rushes over to block her, standing in the doorway.

“Lookin' fresh tonight, Pussycat.” Flash sneers.

Michelle gives him a death look and then stops and points at his forehead.“Wait -- was that? -- Did your hairline just recede?” Michelle asks.

Flash panics, whipping out a handy pocket mirror , Michelle’s already walking away.

“Where ya going?” Flash says.

“Away.”

"Your sister here?” Flash smirks.

Michelle turns to glare at him. “Leave my sister alone.”

“And why would I do that.” Flash smiles cockily.

“Oh look there’s the hot one.” Flash says, crossing the room to where Liz is standing and throwing his arm around her, giving Michelle one last smirk.

A guy pouring shots hands one to Michelle and she downs in quickly and accepts another one.

“What’s this?” Peter asks concerned, coming up beside Michelle.

"I'm getting trashed, man." Isn't that what you're supposed to do at a party?” Michelle says, in a mocking tone. Reaching to pick up another shot. Peter stops her hand.

“I say, do what you wanna do.” Peter says.

“Funny, you're the only one.” Michelle comments, pushing away his hand and grabbing another shot and downing it.

* * *

 “Evening, ladies.” Ned says, walking up to Liz and Betty. Liz graces his with a pained smile.

“Hi.” Liz greets.

“Looks like things worked out tonight, huh?” Ned smiles. Liz ignores the question.

“You know Betty?” Liz asks, trying to pawn him off.

“I believe we share an art instructor.” Ned nods.

“Great.” Betty says, sarcastically.

“Would you mind getting me a drink, Ned?” Liz asks.

“Certainly Pabst?  Old Milwaukee? RaiJieer?”

Liz gives him a tense smile.“Surprise me.”

Ned heads for the kitchen as Flash walks up behind Liz and grabs her around the waist. Liz giggle’s as he picks her up and carries her off. Ned returns with a beer and a napkin just in time to see them scamper off. Betty gives him a once-over then walks away.  Peter appears by his side.

“Extremely unfortunate manoeuvre.” Peter comments.

“The hell is that?  What kind of 'guy just picks up a girl and carries her away while you're talking to her?” Ned wines.

“Buttholus extremus.  But hey, you're making progress.” Peter encourages.

“No, I’m not.” Ned says, smacking himself in the head. “She doesn’t want to go out with me. I’m an idiot.” Ned sighs.

“At least you’re self-aware…. Hey, take a look at my date.” Peter says, nodding his head towards Michelle. Who’s standing in a drunken group hug singing "I Shot the Sheriff".  Michelle has another shot glass in hand. Peter looks up at Michelle and smiles.

* * *

Liz stand next to Flash sipping her beer.

“So yeah, I've got the Sears catalog thing going -- and the tube sock gig that's gonna be huge.  And then I'm up for an ad for Queen Harry next week.” Flash boasts.

“Queen Harry?” Liz asks, confused.

“It's a gay cruise line, but I'll be like, wearing a uniform and stuff.” Liz tries to appear impressed, but it's getting difficult.

“Neat.” Liz says.

“My agent says I've got a good shot at being the Prada guy next year.” Flash looks over her shoulder and waves at someone.

Liz takes the opportunity to escape. “I’ll be right back.” Liz says, walking away only to be stopped by Michelle.

“Liz, I need to talk to you -- I need to tell you –” Michelle stammers, obviously drunk.

“I really don't think I need any social advice from you right now.” Liz snaps, walking away.

* * *

 “Maybe you should let me have that one.” Peter says, trying to remove a shot glass from a very inebriated Michelle. Michelle is fierce in her refusal to let go.

“I want another one.” Michelle argues. Flash enters, grabbing Peter by the shoulders distracting him from his task.

“My man.” Flash says. As Peter turns, Michelle breaks free and dives into the sea of dancing people in the living room area.

“A deal’s a deal.” Flash says, handing Peter more money. “So, how’d you, do it?” Flash questions.

“Do what?”

“Get her to act like a human.” A very drunken Michelle jumps up onto the kitchen island and starts dancing by herself. She lets loose, hair flying. She’s almost burlesque.  People form a crowd around her, clapping and cheering her on. Michelle swinger her hand around hitting off a copper pot hanging from the rack above the centre of the island. She starts to sway, then goes down as Peter rushes over to catch her. Everyone claps around them, thinking this is a wonderful finale. Peter sets Michelle down on her feet, holding her up.

“Okay?” Peter asks, raising his eyebrows.

“I’m fine……I’m” Michelle says, trying to push him away, staggering when she does, so he grabs her again. Bracing her.

“You’re not okay.” Peter comments.

“I just need to lie down for a while.”

“Uh, uh. You lie down and you’ll go to sleep.”

“I know, just let me sleep.” Michelle says, laying her head on Peter’s shoulder easily as he’s a few inches shorter. Peter makes her stand up straight, giving her a hard stare.

“What if you have a concussion? My dog went to sleep with a concussion and woke up a vegetable. Not that I could tell the difference...”

Michelle tries to sit on the floor. “Okay, I'll just sleep but stay awake, okay?”Peter pulls her back up to him.

“C’mon, lets walk.” Michelle and Peter walk through the dining room, Ned grabs a hold of Peter’s arm.

“Ned, I’m a little busy.” Peter says.

“It’s off, I was just being an idiot. You don’t need to go through dating her if Liz doesn’t even like me.” Ned says, pitifully. Michelle oblivious to the conversation slides down to the floor and Peter struggles to get her back on her feet.

“Ned, you like her right.” Peter asks, hosting up Michelle and holding her by the waist.

“Yes.”

“Then, go get her.” Peter says, hitting him on the shoulder in encouragement.  

* * *

Outside the party, Peter marches Michelle around the yard holding her up.

“This is so patronizing.”  Michelle comments.

“Leave it to you to use big words when you’re shitfaced.” Peter laughs.

“Why’re you doing this?”

“I told you.”

“You don’t care if I die.”

“Sure, I do.”

“Why?”

“Because then I’d have to start taking out girls who actually like me.”

“As if you could fine one, Loser.” Michelle laughs.

“See that? Who needs affection when you got blind hatred?”

“Just let me sit down.”

Peter walks her to the swing sets and plops her down, moving her hands to hang on to the chains. Michelle sits and looks at him for a moment with a smile, then sways backwards. Peter catching her before she can fall off.

“Why’d you let him get to you.” Peter asks, crouching in front of her. Once she found her balance.

“Who?”

“Flash.”

“I hate him.” Michelle says, shaking her head.

“I know.  It'd have to be a pretty big deal to get you to mainline tequila. You don't seem like the type.”

“Hey man. . .  You don ' t think I can be "cool"?  You don't think I can be laid back" like everyone else?” Michelle says, her speech slurred.

“I thought you were above all that.” Peter says, standing and looking up at the sky.

“You know what they say.” Michelle mumbles. 

“No what do they say.” Peter asks, when he doesn’t get a reply he glances down and see’s that Michelle has fallen asleep against the swing’s chains.

“Shit.” Peter says, rushing to her and dragging her to her feet. Peter sits her down on the slide and shakes her like a rag doll.

“Michelle! Wake up!” Peter all but screams.

“What.” Michelle says disorientated, opening her eyes slightly. Peter visibly sighs in relief.

“I thought you were….” Peter trails off as he stares at Michelle, the two keep eye contact for a few moments then Michelle leans over puking violently on his shoes.

“Let’s get you home.” Peter says, rubbing her back comfortingly.

* * *

 Kids Loiter the lawn as Liz and Betty walk outside, Flash runs to catch up to them.

“A bunch of us are going to Jaret’s house. Wanna come?” Flash asks.

Betty looks at Liz with a pleading expression.

“I have to be home in twenty minutes.” Liz says, looking down at her watch.

“I don’t have to be home till too.” Betty interjects, eagerly.

“Then come on.” Flash says, throwing his hand around her shoulder.

“Maybe next time, doll-face.” Flash shouts back to Liz as the two walks away leaving an astonished Liz behind them.

Ned exits the party and stops when he sees Liz standing alone.

“Have fun tonight?” Ned asks.

“Tons.” Liz mutters.

Ned starts to walk away but stops when Liz calls after him.

“Ned, do you think you could give me a ride home.” Liz asks, with a helpless smile.

* * *

 Peter drives as Michelle sits in the passenger seat, fiddling with the radio dial. She finds a song she is happy with and Peter quickly changes it.

“I’m driving so I get to pick the tunes.” Peter states.

Michelle changes it back to her song with a scowl. “It’s my car.”

Peter changes it back. “And I’m in control of it.”

“But it’s Gigglepuss- I know you like them, I saw you there.” Michelle says. 

Peter doesn’t have an answer for this, so he lets her listen to the song.

“I should start a band.” Michelle comments, swaying with the music. “My father would definitely approve of that.” Michelle adds, sarcastically.

“You don’t strike me as they type that would ask permission.” Peter interjects. Michelle turns to look at him.

“Oh, so now you think you know me?”

“I’m getting there.” Peter says, giving her a boyish grin, pulling up outside her house.

“The only thing people know about me is that I’m scary.” Michelle says, her voice now low. Peter turns to look at her. She looks anything but scary right now. He tries and fails to hide his smile.

“I’m no picnic myself.” Peter shrugs.

“So, what’s the deal with your dad? He a pain in the ass?” Peter adds.

“He just wants me to be someone I’m not.”

“Who?”

“Liz.” Michelle says, in a high-pitched voice.

“No offense, but your sister is without.  I know everyone likes her and all, but ...” Peter trails off.

“You know—you’re not as big as a loser that I thought you were.” Michelle comments in an almost whisper. 

Michelle drunkenly leans towards him, their face’s grow closer as if they are about to kiss but suddenly Peter clears his throat and backs away.

“So, I’ll see you in school” Peter says, smiling awkwardly. Michelle stares at him, pissed. Then gets out the car. Slamming the door shut behind her.

* * *

 Ned and Liz drive in a tense silence, until Ned breaks it.

“I looked for you at the party, but you always seemed to be occupied.” Ned says, not hiding the hurt in his voice.

“I was?” Liz asks in faux innocence.

“You never wanted to go out with me did you.” Ned asks.

“Well, no….” Liz bites her lip.

“Then that’s all you had to say.”

“But.”

“Have you always been this shellfish?” Liz thinks for a minute as Ned pulls up outside her house.

“Just because you’re beautiful. Doesn’t mean you get to treat people like they don’t matter.” Ned says, staring directly at her, his voice firm.

Liz looks at Ned for a moment—then grabs his face and gives him a kiss on the lips. Ned draws back in surprise, then kisser her back. Liz gives him a smile then gets out the car without another word.

Ned drives away smiling.

* * *

 Sitting in English class Michelle buries her face into some book as other students enter around her.

“Michelle, my lady, you sway to the rhythm of my heart.” A student says, grabbing her hands and kissing it before she snatches it away.

“Dance for me cowgirl.” another student shouts at her from the back of the class.

Flash saunters in next and takes his seat. “Michelle, babe, you were on fire.” Flash comments.

“Well now, did everyone have a good week-end?” Mrs. Blaise asks, sitting at her desk. 

“Maybe we should ask Peter and Michelle.” Flash asks, as Peter rushes to his seat late, his head down.

“Never mind that….  I'd like you all to write your own version of Shakespeare's Sonnet 141.” Mrs. Blaise announces, ignoring the groans she continues.

“Any form you'd like.  Rhyme, no rhyme, whatever.  I'd like to see you elaborate on his theme, however. Let's read it aloud, shall we? Anyone?” The students duck down in their seats hoping not to be called.

* * *

Michelle and Cindy sit in their usual corner outside to eat lunch.

“You went to the party? I thought we were officially opposed to suburban social activity.” Cindy says.

“I didn’t have a choice.” Michelle shrugs.

“You didn’t have a choice? Where’s Michelle and what have you done with her?”

“I did Liz a favor and it backfired.”

“How?”

“I got drunk. I puked. I got rejected, it was big fun.” Michelle says sarcastically.

Peter crosses by, once he notices Michelle he smiles and begins walking towards them.

Michelle quickly gather her things and bolts, Peter looks at Cindy who shrugs and follows Michelle.

* * *

 “So, you got cozy with she who stings?” Ned asks, sitting next to Peter as he preps for their biology experiment.

“I think I may have messed it up.” Peter admits.

“What'd you do to her?” Ned questions.

“I don’t know.” After a beat, he continues “I decided not to nail her when she was too drunk to remember it.”

“You realize this puts the whole operation in jeopardy.” Ned exclaims.

“No shit. She won’t even look at me.”

“Why can’t you tell her you’re sorry?” Ned asks.

Peter gives him a pained expression.

“You might be overreacting.” Ned suggest, giving Peter a smile.

* * *

 Ned and Peter sit next to each other on the Bleachers as they watch Michelle’s practice.

“She hates you with the fire of a thousand suns.  That's a direct quote.” Ned says.

“She just needs time to cool off I'll give it a day.” Peter assures.

Suddenly a ball comes flying from the field, narrowly missing Peter’s head. Looking up Peter catches Michelle’s glare.

“Maybe two.”  Ned suggest, Peter nodding in agreement.

* * *

 Michelle and Cindy are walking through the hallway when Michelle sees a poster for the prom.

“Can you even imagine?  Who the hell would go to this a bastion of commercial excess?” Michelle says, pulling the poster from the wall and balling it up to throw on the ground.

“Well, I guess we're not, since we don't have dates.” Cindy sighs.

“Listen to you!  You sound like Betty, all pissed off because Archie is taking Veronica.”

“Okay, okay, we won't go.  It's not like I have a dress anyway.”

“You ' re looking at this from the wrong perspective.  We're making a statement.”

“Oh, good.  Something new and different for us.” Cindy says, sarcastically.

* * *

 Betty rounds the corner of the hallway and bend down to get a drink from the water fountain. Nearby she can hear Flash and his buddies talking.

“Don't talk to me about the sweetest date. That little halo Bianca is gonna be prone and proven on prom night.  Six virgins in a row.” Flash boasts, earning high fives all around.

* * *

Mr. Wilson patrols as boys and girl’s shoots arrows at targets.

Flash swaggers up to Liz, who is taking careful aim. Betty watches from across the row.

“Hey, sweet cheeks.” Flash says.

“Hi Flash.” Liz says, not looking at him.

“You're concentrating awfully hard considering it's gym class.”

Liz lets the arrow go and turns to look at Flash.

“Listen, I want to talk to you about the prom.” Flash continues.

“You know the deal.  I can ' t go if Michelle doesn't go –”

“Your sister is going.”

“Since when?”

Flash takes the bow and arrow from Liz’s hand. He draws it back and takes aim.

“I’m taking care of it.” Flash assures.

Betty looks over from her spot on the field, but keeps her lips firmly shut.

* * *

“Here.” Flash says, walking up to Peter at the end of the day in the parking lot.  Peter looks down at the wad of cash Flash is trying to give him.

“Make it the best prom ever, heck she might even put out.” Flash grins, Peter feels himself getting mad.

“I don’t know if I want to do this anymore man.” Peter says, backing away.

“Don’t be such a fucking pussy.” Flash says, grabbing his hand and forcing the money in.

“Don’t start caring for the bitch because she doesn’t give a fuck about you.” Flash snarls, walking away.

* * *

 Michelle is in the bookstore, browsing the feminist literature section when Peter’s face appears through a hole in the books.

“Excuse me, have you seen The Feminine Mystique?  I lost my copy.” Peter asks.

“What are you doing here?” Michelle asks, annoyed.

“I heard there was a poetry reading.” Peter shrugs.

“You’re so…”

“Peasant…wholesome.” Peter supplies, rounding the bookshelf to stand beside her.

“Unwelcome.” Michelle says, her voice monotone, turning to Peter.

“Unwelcome?  I guess someone still has her panties in a twist.” Peter grins, stepping closer.

“Don't for one-minute think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties.” Michelle snarls, backing away.

“So, what did I have an effect on?”

“Other than my upchuck reflex? Nothing.”  Michelle says, grabbing a book from the self and shoving it in to his arms before storming away.

Peter looks down at the copy of ‘The feminine mystique’ in his hands.

* * *

 “You were right. She's still pissed.” Peter says to Ned as the sit at their cafeteria table.

“Sweet love, renew thy force!” Ned proclaims.

Peter looks at him in confusion.

“You humiliated the woman! Sacrifice yourself on the altar of dignity and even the score.” Ned continues.

“Got any ideas?” Peter questions.

* * *

 Michelle and the other student sit at their desks in English, taking a quiz.  Peter’s desk is conspicuously empty.

The students quickly look out the window when they hear loud music beginning to play, outside they see Peter who points at Michelle who is staring at him horrified.

“This morning, I woke up with this feeling, I didn't know how to deal with, and so I just decided to myself--" Peter sings as the students rush to the windows.

“I'd hide it to myself.  And never talk about it.  And didn't I go and shout it when you walked into the room –” Peter drones on.

Mrs. Blaise touches her heart, as if the song is for her. Michelle slowly walks to the window, peeking outside.

Peter smiles at her, giving her a confident wink as he finishes the verse.

“I think I love you.” 

The other student laugh, clap and cheer. Michelle goes back to her seat mortifies, but with a slight smile on her face.

* * *

 Peter and other miscreants sit quietly, mulling over their misfortune in detention.

Coach Wilson, sits at the desk in front, eyes threatening to close as he looks at something on his computer. 

“Excuse me, coach Wilson.” Michelle says, walking into the room.  

Peter looks up at the sound of her voice and sees Michelle standing in the doorway. She gives him a small smile and he perks up a little.  

Michelle walks into the room and addresses coach Wilson again. He turns fully to face her. 

“Sir, I'd like to state for the record that Mr. Parker's current incarceration is unnecessary.  I never filed a complaint.” Michelle announces.  

“You didn't have to.  He disrupted a classroom.” Coach Wilson replies, in a bored tone.  

Michelle glances over at Peter and motions her head towards the window.  Peter shrugs not knowing what she is talking about. She motions again, and looks toward the window with an expression that says, "Make a break for it, moron.". Michelle brings her attention back to coach Wilson while Peter inches out of his seat toward the window. The other miscreants watch with glee. 

“Coach Wilson, I hardly think a simple serenade warrants a week of detention.  There are far more hideous acts than off-key singing being performed by the student body on a regular basis.” Michelle argues.  

Peter is halfway out the window now.  And none too happy about it, considering they're on the second floor. He eyes tree a few feet away from coach Wilson.  He starts to turn away from Michelle.  

“You're not gonna change my mind, Michelle, rules stick.” Wilson says, waving her away and turning around.  Michelle starts to panic, as Peter has yet to make the jump for the tree. 

“Wait, coach Wilson, there’s something I've always wanted to show you.” Michelle proclaims, prompting Wilson to turn back to her.  

“What?”  

“These.” Michelle says, lifting her top up to flash her bra at coach Wilson just as Peter makes the jump.   

The miscreants cheer, for both the daring' escape and the flash of skin. Wilson, reddens and tries to be stern. 

“I'm going to let that slide, Michelle Jones. But if I catch you doing that again, you'll be in here with the rest of these guys.” He motions towards the remaining detention prisoners, without noticing Peter’s absence.  

Michelle smiles at him.  

“Thank you, coach Wilson.”  Michelle bolts out the door. Wilson goes back to his computer, wiping the sweat from his brow. 

Michelle runs out the school arriving at the tree out of breath, she looks around seeing no one.  

“He left!  I sprung the dickhead and he cruised on me.” Michelle grumbles.  

“Look up, sunshine.” Peter says from above her, when she does she sees him sitting in the tree.  

“I guess I never told you I'm afraid of heights.” Peter says.  

“C'mon.  It's not that bad.”  

“Try lookin' at it from this angle.”  

“You want me to climb up and show you how to get down?” Michelle sighs.  

“Maybe.”  

Michelle groans as she climbs up the tree. When she gets to his level, she perches on the branch next to him.  He grins at her. Then swings himself down with the grace and ease of monkey, leaving her sitting there, realizing she's been duped. 

“You shit!” Michelle says, climbing down after him.

* * *

Michelle and Peter wind up at an out -door arcade walking among the games.  

“The Partridge family?” Michelle questions, smirking.  

“I figured it had to be something ridiculous to win your respect.  And piss you off.” Peter shrugs.  

“Good call.”  

“So, how'd you get Wilson to look the other way?” 

“I dazzled him with my wit.”  Michelle, stops and picks up a toy gun that shoots water at giggling hyenas and wails on it.  The barker hands her a stuffed animal as her prize.  She hands it to the small kid next to her and they continue walking. 

“A soft side? Who knew?” Peter says, sarcastically. 

“Yeah, well, don't let it get out.”  

“So, what's your excuse? Why do you act the way you do?” Peter questions.  

“I don't like to do what people expect. Then they expect it all the time and they get disappointed when you change.” Michelle shrugs.  

“So, if you disappoint them from the start, you're covered?”  

“Something like that.”

 “Then you screwed up”

 “How?”

 “You never disappointed me.” Peter says, catching her gaze. Michelle blushes.

 “You up for it?” Peter continues.

“For?” Michelle questions.

 Peter motions towards a sign for a paint-ball game, Michelle grins.

* * *

The two of them creep through the paint-ball course, stealthy and full of the desire to best the other. Peter nails Michelle in the back with a big glob of red paint Michelle gets him in the chest with a glob of blue.

Peter returns fire with a big yellow splat to the side of her face. Michelle squirts a green shot to his forehead After a few more shots, they're both covered in paint She tries to shoot him again, only to find that her gun is empty.

“Damn it.” Michelle curses.  

Peter grabs her in a victorious tackle.  They land laughing.  It's hard to even recognize them, as their hair and faces are so smeared with paint globs, but they still manage to

find each other's eyes. He wipes a smear of blue paint away from her lips, as he goes to kiss her.

 Michelle’s soft lips brush against his and she gasps unwillingly. What started as a tackle kiss quickly becoming passionate as Peter leans forward more pushing her deeper into the ground his tongue invading her mouth.

 “Look, Mom.” A kid screeches, causing the two to break apart.  The mother scurries the child away giving Peter and Michelle a glare as she goes causing the two to break out in laughter.

* * *

 It’s night time before Peter pulls up to Michelle’s driveway. Their paint wardrobe has dried by now and they look like refugees from some strange, yet colorful war.

 Peter turns off the car and turn to her, going to kiss her neck. Michelle laughs because it tickles.

 “Why’d you move here?” Michelle asks.

 “I’m actually a superhero on the run.” Peter smiles, jokingly.

 “Tell me something true.” Michelle requests.

 “I hate peas.”

 “No -- something real.  Something no one else knows.”

 Peter continues to kiss her neck “You're sweet.  And sexy.  And completely hot for me.” He says, between kisses.

 “What?” Michelle raises her eyebrows.

 “No one else knows.” Peter shrugs.

 “You're amazingly self-assured. Has anyone ever told you that?”

 “Go to prom with me.” Peter says, prompting Michelle’s smile to disappear.

 “Is that a request or a command?”

 “You know what I mean.”

 “No.”

 “No what?”

 “No, I won't go with you.”

 “Why not?”

 “Because I don't want to. It's a stupid tradition.”

 Peter sits quietly, torn. He can’t very well tell her he is being paid to take her.

 “People won't expect you to go...” Peter trails off.

 Michelle turns to him, getting angry.

 “Why are you doing this?” Michelle questions.

 “What?” Peter asks, confused.

 “All of it -- what's in it for you?”

 Peter sits quietly, conforming her suspicions.

 “Create a little drama?  Start a new rumor?  What?” Michelle continues.

 “So, I have to have a motive to be with you?”

 “You tell me.”

 “You need therapy.  Has anyone ever told you that?”

 “Answer the question, Peter.”

 “Nothing!  There's nothing in it for me. Just the pleasure of your company.” Peter shouts angrily at her.

 Michelle glares at him exiting the car and slamming the door behind her.

* * *

 Michelle stands at her sink, scrubbing paint of her face when Liz comes up behind her.

 “Quick question -- are you going to the prom?” Liz asks.

 Michelle pushes Liz out, slamming the door shut on her face.

* * *

 Ned and Liz sit together at their study chubby, Liz fingers a strand of her hair.

 “Then Guillermo says, "If you go any lighter, you're gonna look like an extra on 90210.” Liz babbles on.

 “No.” Ned says, in faux shock.

 Liz stares at him for a moment.

 “Do you listen to this crap?”

 “What crap?”

 “Me.  This endless ... vain babble. I'm like, boring myself.” Liz laughs.

 “Thank God!  If I had to hear one more story about your coiffure...” Ned trails off, mock stabbing himself with a pencil. Liz laughs smacking his hand away.

 “I figured you'd get to the good stuff eventually.” Ned continues.

 “What good stuff?”

 “The "real you".”

 “Like my fear of wearing pastels?”

 Ned looks stricken.

 “I'm kidding. You know how sometimes you just become this "persona"?  And you don't know how to quit?” Liz continues.

 “Actually no.” Ned answers.

 “Okay -- you're gonna need to learn how to lie.” Liz smiles.

* * *

 Sharon is at her computer, Walter at his exercise bike.

“Would you rather be ravished by a pirate or a British rear admiral?” Sharon asks her husband.

 “Pirate -- no question.” Walter answers, nodding.

 Liz enters and walk over to Walter.

 “Daddy, I want to discuss the prom with you. It's tomorrow night –” Liz says.

“The prom? Michelle has a date?” Walter asks, surprised. 

"Well, no." 

 “It's that hot rod Flash, right? That ' s who you want me to bend my rules for?”

 “He's not a "hot rod".  Whatever that is.”

 “You're not going unless your sister goes.  End of story.”

 “Fine.  I see that I'm a prisoner in my own house.  I'm not a daughter. I'm a possession!” Liz screams, storming upstairs.

 “You know what happens at proms?” Walter calls after her.

 Sharon stops writing and looks up at Walter.

 “They'll dance, they'll kiss, they'll come home.  Let her go.” Sharon urges.

 “Kissing?  Is that what you think happens?  Kissing isn't what keeps me up to my elbows in placenta all day.”

* * *

 Liz lies on her bed her music blaring, a knock sounds at the door a few second later Michelle enters, muting the music and sitting down on the bed.

 “Listen, I know you hate having to sit home because I'm not Susie High School.” Michelle says, kindly.

 “Like you care.”

 “I do care. But I'm a firm believer in doing something for your own reasons, not someone else 's.”

 “I wish I had that luxury. I'm the only sophomore that got asked to the prom and I can't go, because you won 't.”

 Michelle clears her throat awkwardly.

 “Flash, never told you we went out, did he?” Michelle questions.

 “What?”

 “In 9th. For a month.”

 “Why.” Liz asks, confused.

 “He was, like, a total babe.” Michelle answers, sarcastically.

 “But you hate Flash.”

 “Now I do.  Back then, was a different story.”

 “As in…..” Liz trails off.

 Michelle takes a deep breath.

 “He said everyone was doing it.  So I did it.”

 “You did what?”

 “Just once.  Afterwards, I told him didn't want to anymore.  I wasn't ready.  He got pissed.  Then he broke up with me.”

 “But.” Liz tries to interject, dumbfounded.

 “After that, I swore I'd never do anything just because "everyone else" was doing it.  And I haven't since. Except for Bogey's party, and my stunning gastro-intestinal display –”

 “Why didn't you tell me?” Liz asks, stunned.

 “I wanted to let you make up your own mind about him.”

 “No. you didn't!  If you really thought I could make my own decisions, you would've let me go out with him instead of helping Daddy hold me hostage.

 “That’s not….”

 “I'm not stupid enough to repeat your mistakes.” Liz snarls.

 “I guess I thought I was protecting you.” Michelle supplies.

 “God, you're just like him! Just keep me locked away in the dark, so I can't

experience anything for myself”

 “Not all experiences are good, Liz You can't always trust the people you

want to.”

 “I guess I'll never know, will I?”

 Liz rises from her bed holding open the door for Liz, slamming in shut once she leaves.

* * *

 Michelle returns a few hours later, knocking lightly and entering. Liz is on her bed eating a bowl of cereal while watching ‘I love Lucy; reruns.

 “Feel like shopping.” Michelle says, grinning.

 Liz looks up, hopefully.

* * *

 Water and Sharon are in front of the television. Walter has the TV guide and his glasses on as he lists out suggestions for them to watch.

 Liz walks into the living room wearing a light pink crop top and puffy long skirt.

 “Hi, Mommy.” Liz says, sweetly.

 Walter scurries takes off his glasses and looks from Liz to Sharon.

 “Honey, you look beautiful!” Sharon says, smiling at her daughter.

 “You like?  My date should be here in five.” Liz says, smoothing out her skirt.

 “I’m missing something.” Water says confused, looking between both of them.

 “I have a date, Daddy.  And he ' s not a captain of oppression like some men we know.” Liz states.

 The doorbell rings and Liz runs to open it. There stands Ned taking in Liz’s outfit with a shocked expression.

 “Wow.” Ned smiles.

 “Let’s go.” Liz says, grabbing his arm.

 Walter rises but Sharon pulls him back down on the couch.

 “Have a wonderful time, honey!” Sharon calls after Liz.

 “But -- who -- what --?” Walter questions.

 The door slams as Sharon looks at Walter with a grin, a blur rushes down the stairs and out the door. The blur has Michelle’s voice and is wearing what seems to be a blue slip dress.

 “Hey, guys. I'm going to the prom. See you in a few.” Michelle calls, before the door slams shut behind her.

 “What just happened?” Walter questions.

 “Your daughters went to the prom.” Sharon says, with a grin.

 “Did I have anything to say about it?”

 “Absolutely not.”

 “That’s what I thought.”

 The doorbell rings again, Water open it to find Flash on the porch wearing a tux.

 “I'm here to pick up Liz.” Flash says, cockily.

 “Late.” Walter says, closing the door on his smug face.

* * *

 Michelle pulls up outside the hotel, emerging from the car to Peter, who is waiting on the steps in a tux.

 “How'd you get a tux at the last minute?”

 “My aunt May, can do anything.” Peter smiles. “Where'd you get the dress?” Peter continues, his gaze trailing down her body.

 “It's just something I had.  You know.” Michelle shrugs.

 “Uh huh,” Peter smiles.  "I don’t think I’ve ever seen your hair down from the bun it’s always in.” Peter continues, motioning to her loose curls that frame her face.

 “Yeah, don’t get used to it.” Michelle says.

 There’s a beat of silence.

 “Look, I'm  -- sorry -- that I questioned your motives.  I was wrong” Michelle says.

 Peter winces slightly but covers it with a smile.

 “No prob.”

 “Are you ready?” Michelle asks, motioning towards the doors.

 Peter continues to stare at her, taking in her appearance appreciatively. Michelle blushes and turns away.

 “C’mon. Let’s get this over with.” Michelle grumbles. 

 Michelle and Peter enter the hotel room that has been transformed into a fantasy world. Michelle spots Liz and Ned who are dancing cheek to cheek. She smiles, happy for her sister.

Across the room Michelle notices Cindy and rushes over to her.

 “You came?” Michelle questions.  “Please tell me you haven’t progressed to full-on hallucinations.” Michelle continues, worried.

 “Don’t be silly. I came with Abe.” Cindy shrugs.

 “Your finally over you true love Shakespeare?”

 “I still believe we will be together in the after-life, but I may as well have some fun in this life.” Cindy shrugs.

* * *

 Liz walks into the bathroom, positively radiant from happiness. Betty emerges from one of the stalls.

 “What are you doing here?” Liz questions, surprised.

 Betty checks her hair in the mirror, aloof.

 “You think you ' re the only sophomore at the prom?” Betty smirks.

 “I did.”

 “And just so you know, my date isn't planning on spending most of the night

in his backseat.” Betty says, in a snooty tone.

 “What're you talking about?”

 “Flash, is only after one thing - -your cherry. He practically made a public announcement?” Betty says.

 Appalled, Liz storms out.

 “I wanted to tell you.” Betty calls after her.

* * *

 Flash, drunk, disorderly and clearly pissed off, walk in with a few stray jocks- also dateless. He zeroes in on Ned, now consoling a pissed of Liz.

 Peter and Michelle continue to slow dance, oblivious to the evil about to erupt.

 “My Aunt.” Peter says, suddenly.

 “What?” Michelle questions.

“Me and my aunt have always been really close, she’s always been more like a mom to me than my actual mother. She had to move down here for her new job and I would have been lost without her, so, I begged my parents if I could come live with her. “Peter says, taking a breath and looking away not meting her eyes. Michelle stares at him for a moment and laughs a delighted laugh.

 “That ' s completely adorable, but won’t your parents miss you?” Michelle questions.

 “Nah, there too busy with work, they hardly ever saw me anyway. Even if they did, they will have a tough time tearing me away from this place now.” Peter says, smiling down at Michelle.

 “Oh god, You’re such a loser.” Michelle groans. The two breaking out into laughter.  They are interrupted by Flash’s hand on Peter’s shoulder.

 “What's Liz doing here with that cheese dick?  I didn't pay you to take out her bitch of a sister so some little punk ass could snake me.” Flash snarls.

 Ned seeing the alteration quickly crosses to them.

 “Flash, pal, compadre. Let’s take it easy.” Ned says.

 “You’re in big trouble chubs.” Flash snarls.

 “Admit it.  You lost.  Be a man.”

 Flash punches Ned in the face, taking him by surprise, Ned holds his nose as it bleeds onto his tux. A crowd form around them suddenly, some of them reaching down to help up Ned.

 Flash, turns back to Peter and Michelle.

 “Just so you know -- she'll only spread her legs once. I know from experience.” Flash snarls.

 Michelle looks from Flash to Peter not sure what she's hearing. Flash pushes through the crowd but a hand drags him back. It's Liz.  And she BELTS the hell out of him.

 “That's for making my date bleed” she hits him again “That's for my sister.” She hits him once more “And that's for me.”

 “Damn it Liz, I have a commercial next week.” Flash sobs as he holds his broken nose.

* * *

 Michelle runs out the hotel, Peter chasing behind her.

 “Wait…. Please.” Peter calls.

 Michelle stops turning to him.

 “You were paid to take me out!  By --the one person I truly hate.  I knew it was a set-up!”

 “It wasn't like that.”

“Really?  What was it like?  A down payment now, then a bonus for sleeping with me?” A few tears roll down Michelle’s face and she wipes them away angrily.

 “I didn't care about the money. I cared about –”

 “You are so not what I thought you were.” Michelle says, sorrow filled, attempting to walk away.

 Peter grabs her desperately to stop her from leaving, he quickly kisses her with determination. After a second, she jerks away and flees down the steps and out of sight. Liz and Ned, stand at the top of the steps, watching.  They’ve never looked guiltier.

* * *

 Michelle is sprawled on the couch in sweats, wrapped in a blanket, watching "Sixteen Candles".  When Molly Ringwald leans across the birthday cake to get a kiss from her dream

date, Michelle changes the channel disgustedly, settling for an infomercial.  Liz breezes in, bearing a cup of tea.

 “Are you sure you don't want to come with us?  It'll be fun.” Liz suggests.

 Michelle takes the tea and gives a weak smile.

 “I’m sure.”

 Liz sits down next to her.

 “You looked beautiful last night, you know.” Liz smiles.

 "So, did you.”

 Liz gives her a squeeze, then jumps up when the doorbell rings, opening the door to a waiting Ned.  He peeks his head inside.

 “She okay?” Ned questions.

 “I hope so.” Liz shrugs.

 The door shuts behind her as Walter enters.

 “Was that your sister?”

 “Yeah.  She left with some biker’s.  Big dudes. Full of sperm.”  Michelle grins.

 “Funny” Walter says, sitting down on the armchair and watched the infomercial with Michelle.

 “I don't understand the allure of dehydrated food.  Is this something I should be hip to?”

 “No, Daddy.”

 “So, tell me about this dance. Was it fun?” Walter asks, dreading the answer.

 “Parts of it.”

 “Which parts?”

 “The part where Liz beat the hell out of some guy.”

 “Liz, did what?”

 “What's the matter?  Upset that I rubbed off on her?”

 “No, impressed actually.”

 Michelle looks at him in surprise.

 “You know, fathers don't like to admit that their daughters are capable of running their own lives.  It means we've become spectators.  Liz still lets me play a few innings.  But you've had me on the bleachers for years.  When you go to Sarah Lawrence, I won't even be able to watch the game.” Walter says, hurt in his voice.

 “When I go?” Michelle asks, hopeful.

 “Oh, Christ.  Don't tell me you've changed your mind.  I already sent 'em a check.” Walter smiles.

 Michelle reaches over and gives him a hug.

 “You’ll always have a front row ticket to the game daddy.” Michelle assures.

* * *

 Michelle stands at the cafeteria line, filling her tray with food when Ned approaches her.

 “Michelle Jones?” Ned says worried.

 Michelle turns to look at him.

 “I'd like to express my apologies.”

 “For what” Michelle asks, confused.

 “I didn't mean for you to get – When Liz asked me to find you a boyfriend, I had no idea it would turn out so --ugly. I would never have done anything to compromise your - - -“ Ned trails off when he realizes she’s thrown her food tray against the wall and stormed off.  The kill ‘kill, kill’ look back in her eyes.

* * *

 Liz’s English teacher perches on the edge of a desk, open book in hand.

 “Who can tell me at what point Lucentio admits his deception?” The teacher asks.

 The door of the classroom flies open and an angry Michelle stalks in, yanking Liz from her chair and dragging her toward the hallway.

 “Family emergency.” Michelle says to the teacher when they pass her.

 Liz tries to pull away as Michelle drags her between two rows of lockers.

 “Let go!” Liz shrieks.

 “You set me up.” Michelle replies, letting go of her.

 “I just wanted- “

 “What? To completely damage me?  To send me to therapy forever? What?”

 “No, I just wanted—”

 Miss Perky walk up the hallway.

 “Ladies?  Shall we take a trip to my office?” she asks.

* * *

 Miss Perky stares at both sisters as they sit before her, then focuses on Liz.

 “So, you're the real bitch?” Miss Perky asks.

 “Yes!  Okay?  Yes -- I'm the real bitch. I wanted her to get a boyfriend so I could.  Apparently, this makes me a horrible person.  I'm sorry.” Liz says then turns to Michelle.

 “I swear -- I didn't know about the money.  I didn't even know Flash was involved.  I would never intentionally hurt you, Michelle.”

 “Do you care to respond?” Miss Perky asks Michelle.

 “Am I supposed to feel better? Like, right now?  Or do I have some time to think about it?” Michelle asks.

 “Just smack her now.” Miss Perky suggests.

 Liz rises, taking Michelle by the arm.

 “We’ll get back to you.” Liz says to Miss Perky.

 “What, no hug?” Miss Perky calls after them.

 “Is that woman a complete fruit-loop or is it just me?” Liz asks once they’re outside the door.

 “it’s just you.” Michelle says.

 “Will you stay mad at me forever?” Liz asks, eyes worried.

 “You’re my sister, I give it an hour tops.” Michelle says, smiling slightly before walking away.

* * *

 “All right.  I'm assuming everyone found time to compose, their poems. Except for Flash, who is still meeting with plastic surgeon.” Mrs. Blaise says as she faces the class.

 “Would anyone care to read theirs aloud?” she continues.

 No one moves. Then Michelle slowly stands up, Peter looks at her in shock.

 “Oh lord.” Mrs. Blaise says, downing a couple pills of Prozac.

 Michelle stands up, puts on her glasses and takes a deep breath before reading from her notebook.

 “I hate the way you talk to me/ and the way you cut your hair/ I hate the way you drive my car/ I hate it when you stare.”

 She pauses momentarily then continues.

 “I hate your big goofy smile/ and the way you read my mind/ I hate you so much it makes me sick/ it even makes me rhyme.”

 Michelle takes a deep breath and looks quickly at Peter, who stares down at his desk. Michelle can’t see the few stray tears coming from his eyes.

 “I hate the way you're always right/ I hate it when you lie/ I hate it when you make me laugh/ even worse when you make me cry/ I hate it that you're not around/ and the fact that you didn't call/ But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you/ not even close, not even a little bit, not even any at all.”  Michelle finishes staring directly at Peter, he looks up and they stay transfixed for a few moments. Tears running down both their cheeks.

 Michelle then walks out the room, the rest of the class remains in stunned silence. Everyone looking at Peter, before he stands and leaves the room too.

 “Well then.” Mrs. Blaise says, shrugging.

* * *

  Michelle walks to her car alone. When she opens the door, she's greeted with a Fender Stratocaster guitar, reclining in the front seat. She picks it up slowly, inspecting every detail, then spins round.

 Peter stands there, smiling.

 “A Fender Strat. You bought this?” Michelle asks.

 “I thought you could use it. When you start your band.” Peter shrugs.

 Michelle doesn’t answer, but hides a smile so he walks closer.

 “Besides, I had some extra cash. Some asshole paid me to take out a really great girl.”

 “Is that right?”

 “Yeah, but then I fucked up. I fell for her.” Peter says, walking closer and closer to her until a breath away.  Michelle blushes and looks down.

 “You know -- it's not every day you find a girl who'll flash her coach to get you out of detention.” Peter continues.

 Michelle looks up surprised and embarrassed that he found out. Peter takes her upturned face as a sign to kiss her and he does, she lets him for a few moments then breaks away.

 “You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know.” Michelle says.

 “I know.”

 Peter quiets her again with another kiss which she breaks off again.

 “And don’t just think you can.”

 Peter kisses her again, not letting it end this time as he pushes her back against her car and she wraps her hands around his neck to bring him closer.

* * *

* * *

 

 


End file.
